Surveys!!!

So, earlier on Facebook a link to “31 Questions That Will Change Your Life” was shared.  Upon seeing it I was immediately reminded of a young Q answering surveys on AOL online.  So, I figured this would be a good excuse to update the ol’ blog machines.

Are you doing what you truly want to do?

I would say yes to this.  There’s a difference between what you plan on doing, and what you’re wanting to do right now.  So, at this moment in time, what I am doing is what I truly want.

Do you have a dream to follow?

I have a lot of dreams, some more realistic than others.  My bucket list consists of the following:

  • Get a Samoyed Dog
  • Go into Outer Space
  • Learn to play a musical instrument
  • Learn to Ski
  • Make a painting
  • Own a house with no HOA
  • Ride a horse
  • Run in a marathon
  • Speak another Language
  • Visit Japan, Australia, London
  • Work at a successful Silicon Valley Startup
  • Write a book
  • Get to Diamond in League of Legends
  • Be debt free. 

I mean, dream implies something fanciful, but in order to follow it then I suppose it should be realistic.  A lot of my items are pretty realistic, some bordering on mundane.  Some of them are things I truly want to do, and some are things I feel like I “should” do.  I guess I should get rid of the latter, because what is imposing that on me in the first place?  One of the main dreams of my youth was to meet someone who would truly be an amazing partner and best friend in this life.  So, that one I have already accomplished and living every day.  I feel pretty lucky I can say that.  (Man I should really put more badass stuff on my Bucket List)

Are you proud of what you’re doing or what you’ve done?

I am proud.  It took a while for me to take stock of my life and realize exactly all it has that I have accomplished.  Considering some of the roadblocks I have faced from depression I try to relish in even some of the smallest accomplishments.  I am proud to be working at a start-up in Silicon Valley, it seemed like such a dream when I was living across the country.  But I’m here!  I made it.  Yeah, I’d say things are good.

How many promises you have made and how many of them you have fulfilled?

Ah, this is where things stop getting so shiny.  I have made a lot of promises to myself of things that I would do, or changes I would make, and I’ve not kept all of them.  A lot of times though I feel as though we make promises because we feel that the obligation will motivate us more than anything else.  I try to avoid making promises, because when you don’t keep them you just get even more depressed and I feel as though that impedes progress.  I haven’t made too many HUGE promises in my life, just the small day to day ones that I have seen through to other people.

What’s the one thing you really want to do but have never have done so, and why?

Write a book.  I used to want to be a writer, I went to college to study English in hopes to hone my craft.  For awhile I’ve been in this bit of a fog where I wasn’t feeling that I could be creative or even communicate effectively.  I wasn’t really having any new ideas or inspiration.  Lately I’ve been emerging from a huge rut and accomplishing more creative things.  I am hoping to take this momentum and move it forward.

Have you ever failed anyone who you loved or loved you?

I could say yes to this, but “failed” has such a permanence to it.  Surely there have been times my family was disappointed with me, but I don’t think I’ve ever been made to feel a failure.  So, I guess the answer is no.  While I may have failed in a technical sense, I’m not sure that is what this question means.

Will you take a shot if the chance of failure and success is 50-50?

I’m currently endeavoring to be the kind of person that says yes to this.  It really depends on what it is.  In regards to my career, I am taking a chance on a start up right now.  However, there are other jobs on the market, and I know that.  So the isolated failure/success rate of THIS job does not mean that my entire career is now hinging on it.  I’m not quite sure that I’ve ever been faced with a decision such as this.

If you could travel to the past in a time machine, what advice would you give to the 6-year-old you?

Hey 6-year-old me!  First of all, you might as well just start calling yourself Quelyn now, it will be way cooler if you start it now and you will thank me later.  Also, make sure you keep being as awesome as you are now.  Don’t let people bring you down, and don’t feel pressured to change.  Just do what makes YOU happy.  Worry about yourself, your family, and your education.  These are things that will be with you forever.

Would you break the rules because of something/someone you care about?

Absolutely. Rules are quite arbitrary, and there are always exceptions.  It’s circumstantial, obviously, when and why I would break a rule.  But I know that I would consider all aspects of a situation and not be constrained by the “rules”.

Have you ever abandoned a creative idea that you believed because others thought you were a fool?

No.  I’ve had very supportive and awesome people in my life.  My largest critic is myself.

What would you prefer? Stable but boring works or interesting works with lots of workload?

Interesting work with lots of workload.

Are you afraid of making mistakes even though there’s no punishments at all?

Yes.  I always feel as though there are downfalls to making mistakes.  I don’t need to be officially “punished” by anything for it to feel bad.

If you would clone yourself, which of your characteristics you wouldn’t want to be cloned?

Depression, anxiety, laziness….. and maybe my nose.  But if my nose doesn’t get cloned does that mean I’ll be all Voldemort looking?  I need to know more about the rules of this hypothetical.

What’s the difference between you and most of the other people?

Everything? Nothing? Wow, that’s a really broad question.  I believe that there are possibly other people in the world that share each and every trait I have.  I’m not sure though if there’s someone that has a sum total of traits that makes them just like me though.  I suppose I am taking this too literally.  On a superficial level I have pink/blue hair, facial piercings, tattoos.  But as times go on that is getting to be less and less “different”.  I think in a way that a lot of people don’t understand, and my approach to things is usually different than a lot of people I encounter.  There’s not many people I can relate to.  But the ones I can, on a deep level, are flipping great.

Are you making some influences on the world or constantly being influenced by the world?

I’d like to think I’m taking part in new technologies to help shape the future of business.  My part is small, but I’m still in it!  Personally, no.  I don’t think anything I am doing has a global influence, or even an influence on anyone.

The thing you cried for last time, does it matter to you now or will it matter to you 5 years later?

Yes.  The last time I had a good cry was during a particularly introspective time.  I was taking stock of myself and the directions I was going in.  I was unhappy that I could not be the best version of myself for Gaz and the people who give me so much of themselves.  I was disappointed with the lack of energy and focus I have had.  In recent time I have taken steps to remedy most of this.  However, these thoughts will always be a motivating and driving thought in my forward trajectory in life.

Is there anything you can’t let go of but you know you should?

Shame.

Do you remember anyone you hated 10 years ago? Does it matter now?

In the spirit of being perfectly honest, I do hold on to a lot of those things. Does it matter… no probably not.  With time these things fade.  But anyone that I ‘hated’ typically had a very strong negative impact on very formative years of my life.  It’s hard to completely forget that.

What makes you happier, forgive someone or hate someone forever?

To forgive someone, absolutely.  I don’t still hate anyone, and heck that is even a pretty strong word anyway.

What are you worrying about and what’s the difference if you stop worrying about it?

I would say the most overwhelming worry in my life at this exact time is whether or not I want to have kids.  This is a huge decision that I need to weigh very heavily.  If I stopped worrying about it, I suppose I would stop planning for it.  Sometimes thinking & worrying are so completely tied up for me.  If I stopped worrying, then it probably just wouldn’t happen, or just would, and I would probably be unprepared in either case.

If you’d die now, do you have any regrets?

No, I don’t think so.  As much as I wish to do more things with my life, I am pretty flipping happy with what I HAVE done.

Which one would you prefer, having a luxurious trip alone or having a picnic with people you love?

Picnic with people I love.

Who do you admire and why?

There’s actually this one person I admire a bunch in real life.  She really seems to be living her life exactly how she wants.  She seems unaffected by the expectations of others.  Having a day job and fostering a side business to follow a passion is a lot of work and requires a lot of motivate, but she does it!  It amazes me.  I think about them a lot when I try to inspire myself.

Is there anyone who inspired you and made you who you are today?

My parents. There’s a lot we disagree on, and a lot of things I do and think that probably make them disappointed.  However, that’s always been on the back burner.  They have loved and supported me through everything.

What’s the thing you’re most satisfied with?

My relationship with Gaz.

When was the last time you laughed and what did you laugh at?

Last night, Adventure Time.

Are you doing anything which makes you and people around you happy?

Nothing I can think of.

Is there anyone who you love or loves you?

Yes

When was the last time you really talked with your parents/family?

Sunday!

If happiness is a currency, how rich do you think you are?

A 1%er.

If today’s the end of the world, what’d you do?

Go home, hang out with Gaz and my cats and probably cry and laugh.

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Well, I don’t feel as though my life has or will change in any way from this survey.  But it was fun to answer, I suppose!

 

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